I've Forgotten How To Blog

And I've also lost the motivation to share things. I'm not the guy who always raises his hand in youth group friday night anymore. I just don't feel the need to anymore. I've been there and I've done that.

I think I have deeply associated sharing opinions, letting everyone know what you learned, and all that kind of stuff with trying to sound smart. God knows I've judged other people for doing that. It just killed me to see how egotistical I'd get when I compared my knowledge to other people's, and how good that made me feel. A lot of my identity and how I want other people to view me revolves around how smart I am, so I guess now I'm looking to find my worth elsewhere.

I'll have some thoughts every once in a while, that make me go "Hey I should write a blog post about that", but then later I'll be like "What's the point?". I think I'm done with the preachy sermon-type essays that I used to write. Those were fun, but what I really want to get better at is telling stories.

Without trying to sound cheesy(for my lactose intolerant readers out there!), I think stories are captivating, inspiring, and life changing. You definitely won't remember last week's sermon, but some people's stories stick with you forever. Instead of just telling you what you should know, they show you. And since it's not a perfect world we live in, they show you reality instead of some idealistic situation someone comes up with when writing a sermon by themselves.

There I go bagging on sermons. What I want to say is that we need both: educational, practical lessons as well as real life lessons. But right now I feel I need more of the life lessons. I want to be able to tell better stories, but I can't unless I start making my own story better. Not more exciting, or flashy. But better.

That's all I got right now. And guess what? It's summer break! And I have loads of free time. Honestly, I'm kinda scared. This'll be interesting.